So, I've spent the past week at appointments. Hair appointment. Doctor check-up. Blood extraction. Arthritis doctor appointment. The works, as my mom always constructs my schedule when it's time for me to have any kind of appointment.
For my hair, we went to my hair stylist's new place and I don't know if it is the atmosphere of the place or something, but she did my hair awesomely this time...she always does a wonderful job, but this time--some sorority snaps to Kristin...
That was me trying to get ready for rush for AOII...saw how lamely and pathetically done it was? That's how bad rush workshop is going to be. Lord knows how totally awful the actual rush is going to be...
In shopping news, something I always seem to have, BCBG is incredibly expensive. However, I somehow always manage to find an awesome sale in there...I rarely go in, but when I do, I swear this happens...I found this dress in the 70% off rack...it was a little under 200 dollars, so I thought that was pretty awesome...and then I got to the cashier and it after that it was an extra 20% off...I love when stores throw you these little bones...

But, I saw (500) Days of Summer and The Time Traveler's Wife...and I have this uncanny ability to relate love stories to my relationship with Matt...how pathetically horrible is that?
TTTW was cute, okay...would have probably have been better saved for a DVD night cuddled on the couch...
(500) Days, however, was absolutely amazing. I don't know why, but something really struck me about the movie. It hit me somewhere and left me leaving the theater with the desire to run right back in and watch it again. Maybe it was the talk about love in the movie, the discovery of what love is. Or maybe it was simply the fact that a romance movie finally focused on the tiny things that make a relationship an actual relationship, instead of trying to create a relationship like in a romcom where the character's feelings for each other feel falsified and shallow. Or it could be that the male and female leads interacted in different situations that reminded me of things between Matt and myself. Now, this similiarity could have simply arisen from the fact that I miss him terribly all the time and here presenting itself was a love story--you know, girl and guy and there was enough heartache for me to relate to it. Yet, I don't think that this was the case. I truly saw bits and pieces...one part nearly made me cry...many others made me water. This being the case, I began to wonder if something is wrong with me...or if I was just being typical Amanda and being overemotional.
But, I think that I just think to the little times that I have with Matt. Because, really, all that we have had has always been on a limited amount of time...so, I don't know, everthing counts...and I think that it's because I so recently understood that I truly love him...if anything happened, he could smash my heart into a billion pieces...but I don't care because it's the most wonderful feeling in the world...and if I don't totally embrace it, then nothing would really be worth anything...
I really didn't want to write this, but I felt like I needed to get it out of my system...because the distance from Matt can make me anxious at times...about that we are okay...and then I really think about it for a moment and am suddenly so happy that I marvel at how silly I am, to ever worry...

But I have to admit, I kinda feel a little sad when I walk in Perkins Rowe and see the couples holding hands.

I did not expect this to turn into an "I miss Matt" rant. He would probably roll his eyes at this, if he read it. Which I don't believe that he checks my blog, so...
Oh, Lord if he does...well, I figure that he knows I'm crazy just from talking to me all the time, so I guess no harm if it is simply reinforced here...
But I couldn't help it...I think that sometimes I don't acknowledge the ache under the numbness, and as soon as I take a little poke, everything begins to hurt...
I feel so whinny, but it's true. I need to work on being emotionally stronger or something...or just learn how to teleport so that I can instantly go to Matt's apartment and see him instead of being separated for months at a time...I'll go with the latter...sounds more do-able