And Thus, Though Time Seem Long, All Things End...
At this moment, I should be continuing my writing on a search paper on how Freud and Simone de Beauvoir can be used as lens to interpret "The Yellow Wallpaper"...but, instead I decided to write a little bit here, loosen up my fingers a bit and open my writing zone...
Only 12 days until I return home to Baton Rouge. God, I'm so ready...I love Rhodes and I love the friends that I have really grown to know and love this semester (basically, Ariel and my AOII little, Lisa)...but I am such a homebody (as demonstrated by how I hole myself up in my room...it is my haven, my home) that I could do some serious damage right now if it could get me back to Louisiana...
The Saints are 11-0...I never thought that I would see a season like this, though I love my Saints so very much...I mean, I loved them even when they had that stupid Aron Brooks (god, that smile that he would give when he screwed up...I still can see it clear as day in my mind...)...but it has been the most amazing thing to watch--that Patriots game was the highlight of my life...
And when I return to BR, I will maybe get to attend the Saints/Cowboys game...that's still uncertain, but the day before I will most definitely be attending the Benjy Davis Project concert at the Varsity with the man, and frankly, joy of my life, Matt...(Admitting things like that is strangely hard for me...maybe it's because I didn't think that I would find someone that I loved like this for a long time...)
Because of some strange wrinkle in the universe, I turned in a Pref sheet and was elected to the AOII office of Vice President of Administration...I think that I can do a decent job in the office, and I think that it will be a good presence in my life...though, I'm not pleased about the officer thing they have planned for the week of MLK weekend...I'm not giving up my trips to Arkansas for this position...no way--
Speaking of, I haven't been at Rhodes for a weekend in a month...
In other news, my patience with my roommate is getting thinner and thinner...I pray often for the patience to handle her...but I can't stand the constant immaturity, the twisted notions of men and relationships that she throws on me, the strange awe and almost seemily mocking love that she showers me with....
And dear god. I can't handle hearing that stupid, annoying Miley Cyrus song as a wake up call again.
Half of the things she tells me contains worthless information, tidbits of her day that she cares about but I do not, and quite frankly, I think she knows that I don't...the other half is the intimate things that other people put into her trust, which are now my secrets too--though, I never asked them to be...
And she is using my socks without asking me. No. Just no.
Of course, I'm probably blowing every incident out of proportion now, considering that I reached my limit and can no longer truly think absolutely clearly about the situation...I just need a single...I have daydreams of my own wonderful single...
Where Matt could stay without Claire sitting right over next to us the entire day...
Claire has changed since last year. She has a falseness about her now that makes me dislike her more each day...there is rarely a moment when I feel just her genuine person again...she has very little understading of the concept of "friend" and so has the strangest relationships with people...she spends just about all day primping herself...and tends to make this weird bump on the top of her head with her hair...her music often times makes me want to shoot myself and she doesn't like to just put in her headphones, even though I do that to spare her from my truthfully odd array of 60's, folk, and randomness...she has this terrible fixation on appearance, which I had noticed last year, but had never seen pour forth like thi syear. Everything is based on beauty...and I'm convinced the only reason that she even likes me as much as she does is because she thinks I'm pretty and loves how thin I am...nothing is more awkward then her standing there, holding my arms, staring at me, telling me how beautiful I am and how I'm so skinny and fragile and she loves me...god, it has happened so much this semester that I have realized that I don't even look at her face anymore, because I want to distance my self from that stare, that strange stare, that I don't know how to interepret or understand...and I don't want to even hear her anymore because of that laugh, the laugh that is really a cry for attention, followed by words bubbling with laughter that have this tone that has made my ears want to bleed, a tone of trying desparately hard for some kind of acknowledgment, so fake and ugly...
And I can't even begin to explain or describe the things I hear her say about men...I think that a true relationship with a man is something so beautiful, so special...getting to know someone well enough to perhaps love them, to make them so important in your life that your happiness and desires are tied with their own...and I respect the differences of men...I also know what I expect in a man that I would want to date, a man I would considered a good person...though my views are obviously not completely college typical (at least from what I have seen...but I don't delve into people's relationships often...), Claire manages to obscure the entire notion of relationship, even at it's most basic level, and treat men as these strange, unrelatable beings and divided into two groups: the beautiful and the not beautiful...again, that fixation and total focus on looks, and so very little concentration on the actual person...it's infurating to listen to, every single day...and as I try to explain that I look at things different, don't tell me, I am only given more and more...
Among all this, she has very little respect for my relationship with Matt. She recognizes how much he means to me--if I am very honest, he is my best friend...which I suppose is a dangerous thing, basing such friendship on the person that you could lose romantically--and yet she says degrading things about him in front of me, looking very little who he really is...he isn't some redneck from Arkansas...Matt is a complicated person, who holds a lot to his heart, quiet and reserved because he doesn't trust the world with what he holds...this is actually one of the things I love about him, and she only comments on how he should change...
And she takes all of my food. God, she can go through some food.
Thus, Claire and I have very little to truly talk about. We can't really talk about boys because she doens't like mine and I don't understand her preception...can't talk music or tv or books or classes because we have such vastly different tastes, and not even in a way that we can find a relation of respect for our difference...can't talk about friends because Claire surrounds herself with pseudo-friends and I only have my few close ones which don't really associate with hers...and we especially can't talk about life, home, family. We are presented with such different situations, and god knows that I sympathize for her circumstances, but I can't handle hearing everyone of her family's most personal problems, especially since I am left knowing that I can't give her any adivce because I am blessed with a very stable, reliable, loving family from imidiate to extended...I can't help that my father is a doctor and we are able to afford certain things...but I tend to sense a jealously that makes me uncomfortable...I don't ever, ever want to flaunt my family's money...but she brings up things about what I can buy and what she can't, leaving me feel guilty for something I can't control...
If Claire would get past appearances, I think she would question why she even hangs out with me.
Well, I have done an excellent job of wasting a great deal of time...and I'm not going to lie, it felt so wonderful to write down the jumble of feelings I have over my living situation...
But, I have to enlighten some people about why Freud gives off a sexist vibe. I mean, have you read some of his stuff? :)
I live in the dream of the end of the semester, of my schedule being magically worked out, and my six hour drive flying by...
And so we go....
3:23 PM | | 3 Comments
Still You Don't Regret a Single Day
I have not written in quite a long time. (Obviously.)
Too long, maybe. It's been half a semester...
But today is the day to write...I'm most probably feeling this need because I've been pending up some feelings--and writing takes a bit of that stress away...
Also...I think I'm PMSing...
First, I must comment on my newest musical obsession. The Avett Brothers. Now, usually, I wouldn't go for this type of music. It has folk-like qualities for sure, but it has that twang--not really of country, but of hovering dangerously close to bluegrass...Matt and I saw them live in Little Rock and they were fantastic. And I'm hooked. Their lyrics pull me in and there is something so heartfelt and wonderful about how they present them...
But, I'll make the Rhodes filling-in quick.
I survived Rush, most probably because Regan hated it as much as I did, and so it all managed to go by fairly quickly...
I did Revelation, got a little (Lisa. Who is fairly adorable, kinda spacey and high-maintenance, but she is sweet and I like her--even if she if from the Northwest and doesn't understand the fleur de lis--basically, we get along well), and all that jazz.
As for the rest of the time...I do work and more work. Topics in Biomedical Science sucks because post-docs don't know how to teach or give exams. But, the information is pretty cool, so I guess it all turns out okay. Search is so good, I'm so glad to have landed in this class--the professor is easy going...and today she gave us doughnuts (total highlight of my day). Chem is also going very well, it's pretty easy--though, we just switched professors and I wouldn't say it's for the better...Chem lab is awesome, professor reminds me of my grandfather. Calculus, though, was a terrible start. Probably because she just expected us to remember random stuff from Trig, which was a rather long time ago...but, I've worked my butt off and become very good friends with my professor since I'm in her office every other day...and I've worked my way to getting a solid A on my last test...
So, college is fairly normal. My days are made when there are cupcakes at the Rat. I study and do more studying...
Fall Break was amazing, but way, way too short. The drive on Friday was good and I arrived home to the chaos that is our being-remodeled house. Everything looks wonderful (though, quite frankly, I'm glad I'm not there to have to deal with it) and mom had Granny's spaghetti and meatballs for me--which I over-ate. That's when you know I was so happy to be home, eating decent food...We went to New Orleans and I got my dressed tailored for the Coronation, which is coming up on Nov. 14 (AH! I cannot wait for my six hour drive with Matt there...)...the dress isn't the prettiest thing, and surely doesn't compare to Excalibur. Zeus is a lot older, so I thought they would be more tasteful....but we've gotten some nice jewelry for it....but the greatest moments came the next day at the Saints vs Giants game. God, the Saints are so beautiful this year...the next week they played Miami and had one of the most amazing comebacks I've ever seen...but my game was so very good and I got Cafe du Monde before....
At home I had four million appointments, like usual....at the Rheumatoid doctor, she told me that the reason I'm having trouble taking my medicine is that my body is trying to reject it....so I know take it in shot form....who would have EVER thought I would be giving myself shots? And then I finally got to hang out with my wonderful family and had one evening with Alyssa and that crew before I had to go back to the routine...
I also went to Matt's parents new house. Granted, it is in the boonies of Arkansas....somewhere called Bee Branch....and I saw towns so small they made Arkadelphia look like a Metropolis...and I turn a wrong turn in Little Rock and ended up in a very frightening part of town...and his mom mentioned something about seeing the neighborhood bobcats in the morning--but, it is the cutest house on a hill and overlooks the most beautiful scenery....it was the most perfect little scene, all together....now, I would never be able to live in a place like that...but it would be an amazing place to be able to visit...
Speaking of Matt, the man of my heart is certainly closer to me...he's been to Memphis a few times, which has been wonderful--we even went to a NASCAR race (again, who would have thought?)....but long distance still really, really sucks...I don't know his friends, he barely knows mine...I don't really have a "best friend" at Rhodes, though I suppose that Ariel (thank god for her, she is so dear to me here) comes fairly close...but nothing quite like Alyssa and Matt--he may be my "boyfriend," but in reality, he is my closest friend...who is definitely not particuarly close...I just wish we could have some stance of normalcy sometimes...though, we both just kinda talk about the times in the future when we just may...
To close, I'll mention two things...
TV shows have been awesome. Glee is so amazing, I can't explain it...I even pay a ridiculous amount on Itunes to buy the songs...Jim and Pam got married on the Office...I've caught up on 30 Rock to watch it weekly, FlashForward is my favorite new show, Big Bang Theory is Sheldon-tastic, except for the weird Leonard/Penny stuff, Modern Family is the funniest new show....
The only disappointment is Project Runway. My beloved show, you have sucked this year. If the next season isn't wonderful, I just may have to break up with you....
But the most legitamte break up in my life will be with my roommate. I can't handle it any longer. I buy all of the food and she buys none--but eats all of mine. She tends to lack a certain curtesy....and has too many problems that she constantly tells me about and tries to gain my advice about....and there are just too many issues, big and small, for me to ever find the time to write down. She also thinks kissing is gross, which is an issue considering that Matt and I do a lot of that when we finally get to see each other...
But single rooms are only an extra 400 dollars a year. I'm doing it.
5:20 PM | | 0 Comments
I Guess A Girl With the Blues Should End Up In Memphis
So, I'm back in Memphis, TN. The summer is already over...time truly does go by way too fast...flashing by like those lights in the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey...
Memphis is just as ugly as always. Poplar's roads are too small, as always. The closest store to us is a small Target, as always.
But lovely Rhodes is also the same as always.
I miss my parents terribly. I must have this sick unconscious fixation with finding a way for me to have a long distance relationship with everyone I love. As always, thank god for Skype.
But, I suppose, I should start with right before I left my beloved Baton Rouge...
So, apparently, one of the pills that I'm taking for Rheumatoid Arthritis can be detrimental to your eye sight...so, what felt like the only doctor I hadn't been set to go see before I left to school was suddenly added to the list...
And I hate the Eye Doctor.
Any other doctor I can deal. The dentist, awesome. But the eye doctor legitimately freaks me out...I am very paranoid and OCD about my eyes...I'm even weird about how I put on makeup and such...I don't use eye drops...so, I hate that office. My mother and I got there at 12:45...and we did not get out of there until 3:30...
First, they wanted to check my peripheral vision, so they made me do the Test of Evil. One of my eyes was covered in an eye patch and then I had to push my face into the box...a box where there is nothing but a blank gray wall and a small orange dot in the middle...and for minutes at a time you have to just sit there starting at that dot and wait for small flashing green dots...for every one you see, you have to push a button, like on some kind of sick game show...and after five minutes of sitting staring at the gray, I started to feel like it was pressing in on me, my mind was a panicky blank and all I wanted to do was close my eyes and sleep...
But there would be no sleep. After that lovely experiment, I had a full blown check up...including all of these eye drops...a nasty, yellow one--sticky and unpleasant being scrunched over constantly by my eyelid...and then the one used to dilate my eyes...leading to you sitting in a dimly lit room while your numbed eyes slowly get fuzzier and fuzzier...
Ugh.
But, that ended, thank god--though at the time, I could have sworn that I was going to have to just live out the rest of my existence in that dismal place...
And then I got to leave home. Packing didn't take too long...though I certainly do have a ton of stuff...it filled my Mazada and daddy's truck...
When we got to Memphis, we drove to Rhodes and unloaded the stuff from the back of the truck into the new dorm room because we didn't want to leave all that open stuff to just sit in the parking lot of our hotel...
And thank god we did. The next morning, after a horrible night sleep (the four Sandifers do not do well in one room...Ryan is enough personality for his own room), we went down to the lobby to check out and...apparently, someone had tried to break into all of the cars the night before...and sure enough, dad's truck was all scratched with finger prints all over it...that stuff would have been gone...
But then Claire and I moved into our wonderful new dorm room...it is SO much larger than the one that we had last year...we have a sink, a futon, and space to actually move and not bump into each other every two seconds...I can truly say that I am happy in my dorm...
The bathrooms suck...the showers have only a curtain separating the small cube of a shower from the air of the open world...it's not a fun situtaion...I think I can handle it for the bigger room...which fits my bigger refrigerator! I am having to adjust to having a roommate again, because being I loved being alone in my room at home...but Claire is a good roommate 95% of the time, which is pretty awesome...
I have all my books, which seem to show potential for my classes, especially the Search books. They include The Prince, Paradise Lost, The Tempest, Frankenstein, and The Road. I went and found all of my classrooms and now I'm just kinda ready to get into the swing of things...walking around campus with my Ipod (listening to the (500) Days of Summer Soundtrack)...definitely not ready for the craziness that will be Rush. Trying to put that out of my mind, actually...
However, nothing lets me forget how much I dreadfully miss my parents and Ryan...they are such a major and intricate part of my life...that leaving them feels like things are snapping inside myself, being torn away...and my mom is my best friend, as is Alyssa who I am also separated from, as she attends LSU slaving away for the world of fashion...
And as always, Matt (HA! You thought a post would go by without me including him! But I cannot do that...the man is constantly, randomly in my thoughts...and I just simply love him so much, I can't help it...)--I can't see him until after all of this Rush crap is over...I miss him so badly, I wondered about missing one of the AOII rush parties to go on Labor Day...but that $100 dollar fine is just slightly excessive for that plan (and slightly ridiculous)...but without him it just feels like something is missing...
Now, a year ago, just starting my freshman year in college, I would have gagged if someone told me that about their boyfriend...I guess that you just never really know until you fall that hard...
I saw (500) Days of Summer again today, and certain parts of that movie made me cry...they make me think of me and Matt...and then I feel like I'm going to be separated from him forever...and it hurts so badly that I cry...
But, soon. I shall see him soon. I will. And soon, I will be able to see my parents. And soon I'll be back in BR (and hopefully the terrible road construction will even be over).
Soon, the word that makes it all seem a little bit more hopeful...like maybe us lowly humans will eventually figure out and conquer that part of time called the future...
Whatever. Soon will come soon enough, I suppose--as soon as it is necessary...
And so, being a Rhodent again...begins!
11:33 AM | | 0 Comments
Tripping Over a Pair of Deceptively-High Heels
So, I've spent the past week at appointments. Hair appointment. Doctor check-up. Blood extraction. Arthritis doctor appointment. The works, as my mom always constructs my schedule when it's time for me to have any kind of appointment.
For my hair, we went to my hair stylist's new place and I don't know if it is the atmosphere of the place or something, but she did my hair awesomely this time...she always does a wonderful job, but this time--some sorority snaps to Kristin...
That was me trying to get ready for rush for AOII...saw how lamely and pathetically done it was? That's how bad rush workshop is going to be. Lord knows how totally awful the actual rush is going to be...
In shopping news, something I always seem to have, BCBG is incredibly expensive. However, I somehow always manage to find an awesome sale in there...I rarely go in, but when I do, I swear this happens...I found this dress in the 70% off rack...it was a little under 200 dollars, so I thought that was pretty awesome...and then I got to the cashier and it after that it was an extra 20% off...I love when stores throw you these little bones...
But, I saw (500) Days of Summer and The Time Traveler's Wife...and I have this uncanny ability to relate love stories to my relationship with Matt...how pathetically horrible is that?
TTTW was cute, okay...would have probably have been better saved for a DVD night cuddled on the couch...
(500) Days, however, was absolutely amazing. I don't know why, but something really struck me about the movie. It hit me somewhere and left me leaving the theater with the desire to run right back in and watch it again. Maybe it was the talk about love in the movie, the discovery of what love is. Or maybe it was simply the fact that a romance movie finally focused on the tiny things that make a relationship an actual relationship, instead of trying to create a relationship like in a romcom where the character's feelings for each other feel falsified and shallow. Or it could be that the male and female leads interacted in different situations that reminded me of things between Matt and myself. Now, this similiarity could have simply arisen from the fact that I miss him terribly all the time and here presenting itself was a love story--you know, girl and guy and there was enough heartache for me to relate to it. Yet, I don't think that this was the case. I truly saw bits and pieces...one part nearly made me cry...many others made me water. This being the case, I began to wonder if something is wrong with me...or if I was just being typical Amanda and being overemotional.
But, I think that I just think to the little times that I have with Matt. Because, really, all that we have had has always been on a limited amount of time...so, I don't know, everthing counts...and I think that it's because I so recently understood that I truly love him...if anything happened, he could smash my heart into a billion pieces...but I don't care because it's the most wonderful feeling in the world...and if I don't totally embrace it, then nothing would really be worth anything...
I really didn't want to write this, but I felt like I needed to get it out of my system...because the distance from Matt can make me anxious at times...about that we are okay...and then I really think about it for a moment and am suddenly so happy that I marvel at how silly I am, to ever worry...
But I have to admit, I kinda feel a little sad when I walk in Perkins Rowe and see the couples holding hands.
I did not expect this to turn into an "I miss Matt" rant. He would probably roll his eyes at this, if he read it. Which I don't believe that he checks my blog, so...
Oh, Lord if he does...well, I figure that he knows I'm crazy just from talking to me all the time, so I guess no harm if it is simply reinforced here...
But I couldn't help it...I think that sometimes I don't acknowledge the ache under the numbness, and as soon as I take a little poke, everything begins to hurt...
I feel so whinny, but it's true. I need to work on being emotionally stronger or something...or just learn how to teleport so that I can instantly go to Matt's apartment and see him instead of being separated for months at a time...I'll go with the latter...sounds more do-able
8:21 PM | | 0 Comments
When Your Brain Feels Like Cotton
So, I currently just came down with a cold...and so the coughing, clogging, and other nastiness can begin and continue for a long period of time...yay.
But! It has been some time, dear blog, since I've been about to post worthless words on this web-accessible journal...mostly because I took a trip to the Beach that I currently ragged about...
Everything went surprisingly well and even more surprising, I had a pretty good time...though, the entire time, I watched those two parents...and realized how much I appreciate my mother...she is so organized and we think so much alike...I would have felt less queasy about things with her...
But the guys were okay and the fact that everyone else was drinking turned out to be much less of a spaz attack than previously thought...though, they insisted on playing beer pong...which I find really boring, even though apparently I am really awesome at throwing a small ping pong ball into a plastic cup partially filled with liquid...I sense a career change...
When at the J.Crew outlet, I bought the necklace that I have stared at the past three times I have gone...and I officially love it...a perfect accessory...sadly, this is the best picture I can offer...When we were driving back home to wonderful BR, Matt surprised me by calling and saying that he wanted to drive down to BR for a few days since Magnolia was sucking out his soul...I about died of happiness, of course, and so we opened the guest room again...
They are stilling painting our house, and so my room has everything out of it and they made me take my door down...I've been building this up since like the 7th grade, maybe younger...so this was slightly tragic (of course)...I that only Alyssa truly understands how mentally detrimental this desecration of the memory of my youth is...(Ha, how serious did that sound?)
But, Matt being here kinda took away from the mayhem of the house...we just sat around together...and it was the most wonderful thing...I think that you know that you truly like someone when you can sit around with them for extended periods of time...of course, I sometimes worry if he is bored or not...because Matt is so reserved sometimes I just can't tell...but I would never diminish his reserve...it's one of those things that I love about him...
While he was here, we wanted to see 500 Days of Summer, but it didn't come out in BR until today when he had to leave...so! We went to see The Hurt Locker, which is supposed to be awesome...which we ended up walking out of...partially because Matt got a headache...partially because I really did not find much in this movie that grated it the privilege of wasting my precious eyesight and time...the cinematography was excellent, I loved how the movie was captured...but I didn't really understand the plot or the significance of the movie...I felt that the characters were harder to relate to than they should be...and maybe there is something just too soon about watching soldiers being killed in Iraq in a movie...or maybe I just don't like war movies...no matter, this was only about the second movie that I have ever walked out of...
Speaking of him leaving, I just have to mention how this departure was much easier than last time...because I realized how lucky I was to see him since before I didn't know if I would see him until sometime in September...but it still felt like strings connected to myself were being slowly pulled far from my body where they belong...creating discomfort and tears...he has got me completely and utterly twitterpated, obviously...which I swore wouldn't happen to me until I was late twenties...hmmm, guess you really can't plan these things...
But, I will see him soon. Soon, my favorite word...
On a final note, on TLC, which is a personal favorite, I live for What Not to Wear...but they have this show called Toddlers and Tiaras...
It is awful. And horrifying (I can't imagine ever doing that myself that young. Or even a little older...because I'm too shy and self-conscious for that type of thing...I would never be bold enough to do that...I'll stick with my Mardi Gras balls...). But kinda like when you kill a spider with a book...and then you just have to look underneath to make sure it is dead...I have to look at this show and make sure it is really happening...I'm watching one right now that is particuarly awful...this woman has twins...and obviously favors one of the twins because one wins more...it is beyond horrible...I just can't even imagine putting my small little girls in such a thing...how does TLC manage to suck me in with this stuff?
10:10 PM | | 0 Comments
Earrings in His Pocket Until I See Him Again
So, I wish that Matt was in my city tonight. Unfortunately, the only thing going on in BR right now is packing for the friend beach trip tomorrow...and I've found out that I don't pack well for short periods of time...and lord knows that when they said that they were bringing shampoo/conditioner and a hairdryer for the group, I quickly packed my own...no way that would be happening...I think that my outfits are okay...at this point, I'm past caring...
But everything would be fairly okay...
Until I found out that we would be leaving at 8:00 AM....now, can we please say...WTH? No thank you, dearies. First off, I believe that most places don't allow you to check in until around 3:00, so why in the world would we get there around 12:00? Also, I would have to wake up around 6:00 because I've been instructed to go to Alyssa's house to get picked up. Which means my mother also has to wake up that early because she has to bring me over there so my car doesn't sit there all week...so sucks for both of us.
And, my parents own a condo next to Flora-Bama. I go to Perdido Key/Orange Beach all the time...I know the restaurants, I know The Warf, I know San Cay, I know the Publix, I even known some of the retailers (can we say J.Crew?) at the outlets....so, apparently, I'm not quite as eager as they are to get there...
Plus, you know, the knowledge that I'm even farther away from Matt is nearly sickening...(is that sad? I don't know, I just can't help it...I don't know how my parent's survived when my dad was in North Carolina and they didn't have cell phones or Skype)...
5:08 PM | | 1 Comments
Often Results from Inhailing Paint Fumes
So, I spent the majority of my day searching for futons that are cheap enough and small enough to fit in Claire and my new dorm room. Apparently, we've been chasing something that doesn't exist...much like a bowtruckle or a pixie (see Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them)...
But then we found these chairs from Pier One, which are perfect and a price we can share...
But mom and Claire aren't trilled with the idea of just one chair...and if we can't have something that people can sleep on (we're gonna end up buying an inflatable mattress, I know it--sorry, Matt and Alyssa) then we should at least have two chairs...but we can't buy two of this one...SO we would be forced to get these chairs from Walmart...yumm....
I'm not so excited about this situation...but the lamp I got for the room is really cute, though...
And as I have stated before, we are in the process of renovating our house...just updating to a more modern standard for my mother...who has decided that this gives her more things to freak out about! She gets herself so worked up...because it's like she feels like she needs to...now, the scary thing about this is that I can recognize it in my mother...but I don't always recognize when I do it...I can certainly freak out, but sometimes I don't understand how much or to what extreme...I am very self-conscience about this...
But basically, the paint fumes have been eating at my brain...I think we might all get sick or something...it is particularly rancid in that living room...
Also, today was a day for discoveries! The first involved me actually starting a new series (goodbye, Pendragon, I dragged you out as long as I could)...the series that Legend of the Seeker is based on...the book is called The Wizard's First Rule...and the book is a dozy with about 850 pages...but I absolutely love it...I enjoy the writer's pace, I think that it matches the book's purpose well...and I love that his descriptions are precise and allow for a crisp picture, but don't seem to extend past the point of vitality (like when I read The Fellowship of the Ring)...and I really like the main character's personality--and the chemistry between him and his love interest...
AND! (Drum roll)...Mason Jennings...Matt has this horrible habit of sharing all of his music with me and then me falling in love with it and forming a slight obessions over certain songs (as shown in the time that I have known about Joe Purdy...the Beatles I did on my own, though)...but I haven't listened to all of his stuff, I have to go CD by CD for people's work, but I absolutely love In the Ever...top of my list right now is "Memphis, TN," "In Your City," "Fighter Girl," and "Never Knew Your Name"...
All can be heard here:
http://masonjennings.com/music
Lastly, I must mention my love for Skype. God only knows the pain I would endure from all of my long distance relationships when I'm in Memphis...from my mother/father/Ryan, from Alyssa and Jennifer, and of course, from my amazing Matt. But, right now, when Matt is chilling in Magnolia in his new appartment...I know he is an hour closer, but ever, ever so far...
Soon is never soon enough when it involves seeing someone that you care that deeply about.
But, I got to skype with him and see his handsome face...granted, I didn't get to really see the green in my favorite eyes and then skype messed up and we only got to talk for 30 minutes, but at least I got to actually SEE him for some time...
...But when Matt talked about his great-aunt today...I thought about Papa...he died when I was so young and I was out of town and didn't even get to go to the funeral...he's the only grandparent that I never really knew...but then I thought about my Granny...and how she is 90 and so healthy and how much she loved my papa...and the distance now between them, how much pain she must suffer...and I realized that no matter the distance I am away from Matt, at least I have him with me, some how...
Do I seem to like Matt, just a exponental amount? Hmmm...and in honor of the man who constantly takes over my thoughts and apparently, my blog:I admit. It is funny. In that dry wit, almost British humor off the It Crowd kinda way...
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